"I wan'ed to be alive with you, together with you..." Charles cried clinging to Edwin and pressing his face into his shoulder. The more he realized he wasn't alive, that he had lost the body he had the worse it got. And he couldn't stop it, the crying.

Now that he knew how it would be being alive, and being together with Edwin... It was horrible. He had dreamed about it, imagined it, but then he could live it. And it was... everything he wanted. And even if he knew it wasn't forever, it still hurt to wake up to their reality. And even Charles didn't expect that.