for @convincingsmile - Nobody's dying today (probably)

[technicallyhellbound]

Edwin knew as soon as he fell through the mirror that something was wrong, and not just a little bit wrong, but the kind of wrong that made the whole world tilt on its axis a little.

It wasn't a misdirected portal, not like the case that had ultimately led them to Crystal, not like many other failures of concentration when traversing mirror portals before, it was something else, and he couldn't place what it was. All he knew was that he'd simply passed through the mirror in question and had landed, hard on the floor on the other side of the room, hard enough that he actually skidded a couple of feet and that couldn't be right because that actually hurt, and hurt in the way he hadn't felt in... well, decades.

It was enough to tumble him against the far wall just from his own momentum, impacting hard enough to knock the breath out of his lungs, and that was definitely wrong, because he shouldn't have had breath or lungs. He could see, even through pain-hazed vision that the poltergeist he'd been baiting had, indeed, gotten caught in the trap he himself had leapt over when aiming for the mirror.

That was, however, the last thing he saw before the half-rotted-through loft floor gave way beneath his sudden and unexpected weight, sending him falling, flailing, scraped to ribbons on the broken slats, to the ground below, and he was reasonably sure he'd actually heard something snap on impact, ribs, if the sudden radiating pain was anything to go by, though his shoulder wasn't in good shape either, and that was an entirely different kind of pain, just layering on top of the feeling of the ragged scratches from the wood, and it occurred to him, dimly, that he'd forgotten how much he hated the feeling of blood on his skin.

It had been different in Hell, the pain, the sensations in general, all of it, it had been horrible, yes, but it was so much more visceral now, and even as his vision began to go hazy again, head swimming, his last thoughts were trying to remember how he'd somehow gotten separated from Charles, who had been barely a step behind him when he'd rounded the corner into the loft pursued by the poltergeist now trapped securely above him.

Comments

[convincingsmile]

"The meat is the best part, mate," Charles laughed, spotting that expression no matter how Edwin was trying to hide it. He pushed back the half-sandwich for Edwin to eat if he wanted, knowing that most of the bread he got had meat in it. And whatever Edwin said, he needed to eat too.

Charles looked down at Edwin's research, then back at him. He could tell Edwin was still worried. Maybe he was still hurting too. And Charles understood. Edwin died way before he was even born. He spent multiple of his living lifetime dead... for him being alive was the strange part, probably.

"I meant... I meant being alive, you see," Charles started softly. "Don't you think..." he trailed off, looking at the notes again. "Maybe we could enjoy it a little?"

[technicallyhellbound]

He did actually grimace at the declaration that it was the best part, shaking his head and taking a steadying breath so as not to let memory put him off what he could eat, and not about to bring Charles' down -or make him feel guilty- by explaining that being force-fed bits of himself for decades was enough to ensure that meat was definitely not the best part in his opinion.

The question that followed, however had him biting back the initial acerbic response again, managing to temper it a little as he responded: "What's to enjoy, Charles? Everything hurts, everything could actually kill us, and we aren't going to be able to help anyone as we usually do until this is resolved." Another steadying breath, emotions simmering up despite his trying to keep them at bay, spreading both hands flat against the top of the desk to keep himself from grinding his knuckles together "I need to be able to help people, Charles, this agency, our agency gave me a purpose when I needed it most. It's what I do." It was all he knew how to do, and he was feeling dangerously adrift without it.

[convincingsmile]

Now that they were alive, Charles could spot the slight color differences on Edwin's face too. He was going green for a second there. But before Charles could pursue that line, Edwin spoke.

Ah. Charles' hand lowered as he was processing what Edwin just said. Then he put down his food, and wiped his mouth as he walked around the desk to go to him. He gently slid a hand on his back, leaning in to try and look into Edwin's face.

"First of all, not everything can kill us," he said with a small smile. But, at one point he could understand why Edwin was afraid of that. The way he died. The way he was... treated in Hell. Charles got it... he did... it was just... "We could still help people? It could still be our purpose, just a little differently, yeah? Would it really be so inconvenient to eat once in a while? To grow older?"

Deep down, Charles knew what Edwin would pick if he could. But he wouldn't be Charles Rowland if he wouldn't try. If he wouldn't try to convince Edwin that being alive was worth it.

[technicallyhellbound]

"A little differently?" He asked, incredulous, "Charles, we can't travel by mirror, I don't even know if I can still do magic," he hadn't had a chance to try yet, and was dreading what would happen if it didn't work, "None of our regular contacts are going to talk to us if we're breathing, and we certainly aren't going to be able to face down the things we usually do on the regular if they can actually kill us, which they can. That's not just a little different, that's a complete changeover!"

He was trying to keep a handle on his emotions, he really was, and the harder he tried the more slippery they seemed to get, "Because let's not fool ourselves, Charles, more things can kill us than can't. The living world is an inherently dangerous place and I'm..."

He pressed his lips together hard for a moment, shaking his head once, "I'm not built for it. I wasn't the first time around and I'm certainly not now, I've been a ghost for lifetimes longer than I was alive in the first place, and I don't remember how things were supposed to work."

For instance he wouldn't have remembered to eat if Charles hadn't thought of it first, he'd just have continued to deteriorate and been confused as to why, besides that he'd barked his knee on the corner of the desk circling it because he'd forgotten that he wouldn't just clip through it like he normally would have.

[convincingsmile]

"Right, yeah, maybe we gotta change a lot of things," Charles said motioning around. "We gotta start over, almost like we got another chance at living, yeah?"

It was so close. The one thing he'd always wanted. It was in his grasp, and it was together with Edwin and Charles could not feel any luckier. And it broke his heart that Edwin thought it as a sort of curse, and he was so afraid, and panicking. And Charles realized what was that heavy feeling in his chest all this time: this exact argument. He wanted to take Edwin's hand and walk him through life but Edwin... yes, he was a ghost.

"I'll teach you, yeah? Just like how you taught me the ghost rules back in the day," Charles started. "Crystal could help. We could... We can't do those things we did before, yeah but we can do new things! Together! I'll be there with you, I'll protect you."

Charles took one of Edwin's hand for both of their sakes. He was trembling, he was angry and sad and happy and so many things and he could feel it all in every beat of his living heart.

"Is there really nothing you miss from life, Edwin?"

[technicallyhellbound]

"There's really not, Charles." Even if there were, it wasn't likely to be something that still existed in the way it had then, things changed after a couple of decades, let alone a century and change, and that would somehow be even more of a disappointment than it not existing at all.

He was clinging to Charles' hand at that point, willing him to understand, "I know you would, protect me, and I'm not going to risk you like that. If I figure out how to fix this, I'm not, I won't force you to do anything, that would be unfair of me." And that terrified him too, if Charles decided he wanted to continue on living even if Edwin returned to their prior state.

"But if there's no fixing it, if it can't be reversed, we'll have to disband the agency. Which does mean we'll no longer be of use to the Lost and Found, but I'm not going to put either of our lives at risk just to avoid Hell when the time comes."

And there it was, the one thing he'd been trying not to say aloud because that made it all too real, the one thing Edwin was actually afraid of even more than no longer having Charles in his orbit.

[convincingsmile]

Charles was silent for a long time, listening to Edwin. Then he lifted his hand, holding it in both of his, and pressed his lips a the back of Edwin's hand. He closed his eyes.

Charles knew that Edwin would find a cure for their current state, because there must be one. Charles also knew if he chose not to take it, Edwin would let him. But what would Charles choose? His thumb swiped over Edwin's warm skin as his lips were still pressed at his hand, feeling his rapid, panicky heartbeat.

If they remained alive, there would be no agency anymore. No more adventures. And Edwin would most probably live that life in fear and despair. And maybe that was a kind of Hell, right? If there was anything that had any effect on Edwin's life, or afterlife for that matter, it was Hell and not Charles. Despite the fact that Charles was sure that it wasn't Hell that would wait for Edwin at the end of this life. For him, maybe, but not for Edwin. But Charles knew when to argue with his partner of thirty years and when to know that Edwin was set.

So Charles just smiled, his lips brushing against Edwin's hand as he looked up at him.

"I get it, Edwin," he said quietly, smiling. "I get it, yeah?" He repeated in a huff of breath, as if to himself. "Not gonna bring it up again," Charles added, pressing another kiss on Edwin's hand. "Work that brain of yours. And try to eat a little, right?" He motioned at the food as he let Edwin go.

[technicallyhellbound]

He let out a shaky breath, one he hadn't fully realized he'd been holding, though he curled his fingers around Charles' hand again, just for a moment, another squeeze as Charles rose again, "Thank you, Charles."

He was already thinking even as he ate, small careful bites of both scone and sandwich -not entirely sure if he liked the avocado or not but finding the thing otherwise serviceable- just stewing the whole situation over, because while he was terrified of what might happen, he did, at least, have the presence of mind to know that it was at least partly his habit of rushing right to the worst-case scenario, which was why, half the sandwich and most of the coffee gone, he said: "Even if I do manage to sort it out today, and that's doubtful, we've gone a couple of days without cases before, it won't be the end of the world to do it again."

A little shake of his head, realizing that he was talking around the subject, voicing the train of thought he'd already gone through, "What I'm trying to say is that perhaps we could go to the cinema tomorrow? We'd have to actually purchase tickets, of course, there wouldn't be any getting in our usual way." He'd worry about his own remaining aches and finding something suitable to wear later, while going to the movies wasn't something he missed from being alive, it was something he'd been fascinated with at the time -mostly due to his father's vocal distaste for it on the whole- and it was one of the things he enjoyed doing with Charles anyway, when they had the time.

[convincingsmile]

While Charles felt really hungry at the beginning, and he did finish his first sandwich, somehow he didn't go for another one. Nor for the coffee. Instead he tried to clean up the desk and put away the books Edwin wasn't reading.

He looked at Edwin a little preoccupied when he spoke. Then his smile spread widely on his face as he skipped back to Edwin's desk.

"We're gonna need Crystal for that, mate," he chuckled. "I don't think even I'm that good to get us free tickets," he added amused. But as for movies, he already knew which one he had eye on. He always kept himself informed about the movies running because they did like to go to the movies with Edwin.

And knowing that Edwin agreed to at least slow down a little, maybe for Charles's sake, made him so happy. So he stood there for a moment in silence before he spoke again.

"I also wanted to try making love?" he said. And wow, he forgot how a blush on his cheeks could burn. "I mean... if you're not hurt, but... bollocks," he added, realizing that broken ribs don't heal in days. Shit, now he felt like a complete asshole. "I mean, forget it."

[technicallyhellbound]

Well that was enough to have Edwin nearly choking on his next sip of coffee, his own blush flaring into place, high across his cheeks and his temples, along the crests of his ears and even in the hollow of his throat, all the places it usually sat even as a ghost, but all the warmer now, and that wasn't a sensation he missed at all.

He did manage to clear his airway after a few moments of wild coughing, setting the cup down so as not to spill it. What he finally managed to say, edged with a slight wheeze as his words had been the night before, was: "I absolutely will not forget it. I'm sure we can figure something out, if we've a mind to."

Now that the suggestion had been made, Edwin was already turning the logistics over in his mind, taking another, more cautious sip of the coffee, he was less worried about the ribs himself as he was about the hastily relocated shoulder, as well as the puncture wound there, one that still ached in a way he didn't particularly like, but wasn't warm in a way that would indicate infection.

[convincingsmile]

Charles winced as he was watching Edwin try not to meet his early death by choking. But when he looked up, all pink and red, Charles's heart skipped a beat.

"No, no, forget I said anything," Charles said, holding up a hand. "You're in pain, and- and it wouldn't be fair if I was the only one enjoying it, yeah? No, just stick to the movies and food yeah? I'll be fine, it's already aces with me," he added. "So, just continue your work, okay?"

[technicallyhellbound]

Edwin straightened, hands folding against the edge of the desk, pinning Charles with a look he usually only used on clients -or suspects- that were evading his questions, "Charles. I've said that I'm sure we can figure something out, if we've a mind to. Which is exactly what I meant."

Both brows lifted slightly, "But that's the sort of thing to work out after I've at least found the origin of the runes and what they were actually intended to do." Even despite that declaration, he did already have a couple of ideas, ones that he would probably jot down in his notebook soon enough, just on the off chance that he got busy enough to forget them, though he doubted that was going to happen.

[convincingsmile]

While Charles had been subject to that stare rarely, he knew to behave when he got it. So he shut his mouth as Edwin spoke. Then just nodded, his ears were still burning.

"Yes, right, of course, priorities, mate, we're professionals after all," Charles said, clearing his throat. Professionals, yes, so he wished he could start focusing again on the task at hand rather than thinking of not-very-professional things. So he kept his mind and body busy with anything he could, almost desperately so. Edwin barely had to ask for anything Charles was already there to tidy up, to take, to bring over...

[technicallyhellbound]

Edwin was both amused by and thankful for Charles' attentiveness, as it meant that he didn't have to trade out books himself, which in turn meant he wasn't trying to lift or carry things with his injured arm, and wasn't doing anything that might further aggravate the cracked ribs -and he still wasn't sure if they were fully broken or just cracked- but his breathing was easier than it had been the day before, near-asphyxiation by coffee aside.

It was midafternoon -after another snack break- that he finally felt like he was making some kind of headway, he'd at least sorted out what he thought the origin of the symbols was, though they didn't fully match anything in his current stack of research materials, that might just be due to a translation error, which was what had him giving Charles another trade of books to handle.

When Crystal arrived late that evening for her usual 'shift', Edwin was only slightly closer to figuring out what had happened, and the fact that she caught on right away that something had changed -and not just because of the food wrappers on the side table- didn't surprise him much, but he left it to Charles to explain as he was in the middle of translating a document and knew he'd lose the thread of it if he stopped in the middle.

[convincingsmile]

"...but Edwin's fine now, or at least better, and then we got to eat. Oh, and yeah, you have a tab under your name now, at the café on the corner," Charles rambled all too excited. Even after their argument with Edwin, and knowing that this was just temporary, he still got caught up in the high of it. "So now we're working on solving the runes which are some self-made stuff with some code language and different languages mixed in and it's a real pain." Charles grinned, he didn't intend the pun though but it was funny. Though, as he expected Crystal wasn't too impressed.

"You guys could have died," she stated. "Like, a second time."

"Yeah but we didn't," Charles said, frowning remembering his panic too vividly. "'S gonna be fine, yeah? Edwin's gonna find how to undo it and that's that, we're not in danger right now. We also decided to go to the movies, and we need your help with that. Please?"

Crystal crossed her arms. Charles knew her enough already to know that her frown was only for show and she was actually amused, now that the first scare was over. It was amazing how similar they could get with Edwin sometimes.

[technicallyhellbound]

Edwin had more-or-less finished his translations by the time Charles had finished with the explanation and all he had to say, a quiet, dry-as-dust and just as wry interjection as was his habit, was: "Going to the cinema was my idea, if that changes your willingness to help at all."

"It doesn't." She replied, "Because I wasn't going to help in the first place." It was as insincere as Edwin's initial reply had been, because she was already thumbing through to the ticketing app on her phone, "When were you going?"

Edwin rotated the books he was working from, because with his rough translation finished, it was time to see if he could work out just what the fuck the original caster had been trying to do, "Tomorrow, afternoon or evening." He waved a hand, "I trust Charles' opinions on what to see." He did look up then, "The small theatre near the river, the historic one, not the multiplex." That was mostly to reduce how far they had to travel, but also because Edwin liked that theatre, even if it was a couple decades after his era.

[convincingsmile]

Charles smiled widely as Edwin spoke, looking toward him too. Though Crystal's reply did earn a wider smile too. These two were his favorite people ever...

"Right, yes, evening would be better, yeah? Less people," he shrugged. They were still entirely used to being seen by others after all, and while Charles didn't actually think there would be any trouble, it was better to be safe than sorry. Though, choosing the old cinema also limited the kind of movies in that time slot that Charles deemed worthy to watch while they had their bodies. But he smiled proudly as Edwin left the choice to him. He stepped closer to Crystal, to look at her phone. While Charles wasn't entirely tech savvy, not with the new smartphones he was familiar with 'apps' enough to know Crystal already was working on one. "That one, that movie," he said, pointing at the screen when he saw his choice.

"Wow, that's an old one," Crystal remarked. "Tickets for two?" she looked up. Charles paled a little.

"I mean, if you wanna come-"

"God no, love you guys but I'd rather have my eyes gouged out than be a third wheel on your movie date," Crystal chuckled.

[technicallyhellbound]

The response was enough to get a quiet snort of amusement out of Edwin, which belied the fact that he wasn't wholly focused on what he was doing as he was trying to pretend. Or, perhaps more accurately, hadn't buckled down to focus fully just yet.

He was curious about the movie Charles had picked, but wasn't going to ask what it was, because he did trust Charles' to pick something or he wouldn't have said so. Mostly Crystal's declaration of it being 'old' could mean it was from her childhood all the way back to being from his own time -not that there were really any of those left in viewable condition- and he also couldn't recall what the 'coming soon' posters outside had been for the last time they'd been to the theatre and they were always an interesting mix of current and older films from many decades.

"Okay, tickets purchased, Edwin, going to need you to write down the confirmation number, I'd give it to Charles, but I think his backpack would eat it." Crystal said after a few more button-taps.
Edwin made a noise of agreement, fishing out his notebook and flipping to the bookmarked page, "Alright."
Crystal smiled again, rattling off time and confirmation number, which Edwin repeated back out of habit to make sure he'd taken it down correctly, also noting the rest of Crystal's instructions about the kiosk that was either right inside the lobby or right outside where the ticket booth would have been, and that he'd just have to follow the directions for pre-purchase tickets and punch in that number for it to print them out.

[convincingsmile]

"Oi! Don't say stuff like that in front of the backpack, yeah? Any mistakes it makes are mine!" This was a question of principle after all, the bag could never do anything wrong even if sometimes Charles swore it had a mind on its own... But that sounded kind of mental so he never really brought it up. But it was a good thing that Crystal didn't trust him with the number because reaching into the bag still caused him enormous pain so... better not make a scene in a movie theater, right?

Charles listened to the instructions about the kiosk too, hoping they wouldn't have too much trouble handling it. But thinking that they could... ask for help if anything happened was a new thought. Usually, they had to be self-reliant.

"Thank you, Crystal," Charles grinned when the deed was done, reaching out to pat her shoulder. Only to gasp just how warm she was. He could touch Edwin a few times so he knew that the living were warm, hell he remembered they were, but confirming it once again was... well, something in his chest swelled at the thought. He will miss this... "Thank you," Charles repeated a little softer. He felt Crystal's hand on his back too and then he couldn't hold back anymore he went for a full hug. Because truly, without her they couldn't have done a lot of things while being alive.

[technicallyhellbound]

Edwin couldn't help but smile, both at Charles ardent defense of the backpack -as of late Edwin himself had determined that it had some kind of personality of its own and he wasn't wholly sure what to think of that- and at the fact that Crystal all but dragged Charles into an actual hug as he'd clearly needed and Edwin couldn't fully provide due to his injuries.

It did occur to him that were he someone else, and were she more like he'd originally thought, he might be jealous of that, and the fact that he wasn't was something he'd have to examine later, when there weren't more pressing matters at hand.

Of course, as soon as she'd finished the hug, she pushed Charles to arm's reach again with an amused, "Okay, right, showering is something that's going to have to happen. Edwin, you going to be okay if I steal Charles for an hour, hour and a half? If I buy you shower stuff myself I'm going to be mean about it, and none of what I left in the downstairs bathroom is going to work for either of you."

Edwin's brow creased a little, it hadn't actually occurred to him that she would have made sure the shower was operational while she'd been crashing with them prior to getting back into the flat her parents were paying for, but he nodded, "Yes, that's fine. I'll be alright, thank you."

[convincingsmile]

"Shower, what?" Charles frowned, tilting his head to smell himself. Alright, there was some smell but was it really that bad? Though, he perked up at the mention of a shower. Warm water. Hot water! On his body! Alright, he could indulge, yes. "Huh, we're gonna- we're gonna go shopping?" Charles asked with badly disguised excitement. Though, he looked a bit worried toward Edwin. While fetching food was a short quest, shopping may take a bit longer. And Edwin was still injured and yes he was safe in the office but Charles would never stop worrying about him.

But Edwin confirmed he was going to be fine. And while Charles was still worrying, he did agree that if they wanted to go out public, to an actual place, they needed to smell and dress the part.

"We'll be back in no time, mate," Charles assured, and followed Crystal to their shopping trip for bathing necessities and... clothes, and sweets, actually. And it was marvelous. They ventured further away from the office than Charles did before and Charles loved it. The air, the people, the stores! Also, he never really had money so walking into a shop and being told to get whatever they needed was mental.

In the end, they looked like they bought everything in London when they arrived back to the office. Bathing supplies, a new first aid kit, and clothes. So many clothes... Mostly because they figured Edwin needed a little upgrade if he wanted to go out in public. And Charles was glad that he confessed already because only the thought of Edwin in any of the clothes the got for him filled him with nervous anticipation.

[technicallyhellbound]

Truthfully, Edwin was thankful for the time to himself, as it meant that he could actually dig in and work on using the translation key -or re-working it if necessary- with the partial circle he had the pictures of without interruption. Of course, it meant he had to get his own books, but he only needed one swap while the other two were gone, which did surprise him.

He wasn't much closer to a solution by the time they returned, but he was definitely closer, and if inching along was what it took, he was fine with that, and partly because he'd realized that much of his earlier catastrophizing was simply due to being hungry, because that wasn't a sensation he'd felt for over a century and hadn't been sure how to process it.

Likewise he was thankful that Crystal had, apparently, decided that they needed new clothes as well, because he'd been working out how to pull her aside and ask -and working up the courage to do so, fully bracing himself to be laughed at at least a little- and more than that: they'd picked up dinner on the way back. He once again tidied his notes, carefully setting everything aside to make room for purchases and food, smile tilting a little as he did, "Seems like it was a successful trip."

[convincingsmile]

"It was brills!" Charles grinned placing the bags he had on the couch and the food on the desk. "Going into a shop when you're alive is a whole different thing."

"It was maybe a little more entertaining than going alone, for sure," Crystal added, placing more bags on the couch. "So I take there's not gonna be cases today?"

"No and we also take a break from the current one," Charles said, looking pointedly at Edwin. "So we eat and then-"

"And then you go and clean up," Crystal said, motioning toward the bag with bathing supplies, making sure that the two boys won't forget that.

"Right, right," Charles grinned. Once again, they got all kinds of food and Charles was trying to make sure that they have enough vegetarian options, and also desserts. He wanted to bring ice cream too but there was nowhere to store that and he didn't want to make a mess out of the office than necessary. He was also thrilled to have dinner with Crystal. Finally, the whole agency together. Usually he would ask about Edwin's progress but for some reason he didn't this time. Because the moment Edwin finished it, when he found he solution, that put a timer on their current lives too.

[technicallyhellbound]

Edwin inclined his head at the mention of taking a break from the current case, lifting both hands in a deliberate show that he wasn't working on anything, expression amused all the same. He even moved to fetch another chair, careful to use his good arm to do so.

Crystal seemed a little surprised that she was silently being invited to actually eat with them, but didn't say anything against it, just started setting take away containers out across the desk, "So Charles says you're doing a vegetarian thing? I didn't know that was something they did in your time."

Edwin knew that Charles would have explained as little as possible, likely using only that exact phrase 'a vegetarian thing', and he also knew what would keep Crystal from asking further, "We didn't, not really, it's just me, a holdover from Hell." The statement worked as intended, because while Crystal definitely wanted to know more, she also knew she definitely didn't want to know more, especially right before eating

Which was why she just nodded, sliding some of the containers closer to Edwin's side of the desk, "That's these, tofu and rice poke bowl, but if the tofu is too much like meat there's also a caprese sandwich, that's tomatoes, basil and mozzarella with a balsamic vinegar dressing, and a tortellini salad, I know there's a couple other things in here that don't have meat, either, but that's the big ones."

[convincingsmile]

While Charles knew that Edwin wasn't fond of meat, he wasn't entirely sure why. He had his suspicions and when Edwin confirmed it was because of Hell, he felt a little guilt ping at his chest. He may ask later, but not now. Not when Crystal was here and they were being alive, and kids together. Hell was a distant thing, and it would stay that way as long as Charles was concerned.

"Mmm, and pastries too," Charles said, with his mouth already full of spaghetti because obviously, that was the first thing he got when they could venture further than the café nearby.

All in all, it was great. Eating and talking and being all in all together with two of his favorite people, once again Charles wished it could last forever. Eventually, Crystal decided she should leave as the couch was probably going to be occupied when the boys got tired again. She took some of the food with him and warned them about the clothes and to wash behind their ears too.

"That was brills, wasn't it?" Charles was still grinning as he went to tidy up the remains of their feast.